092 龌龊身世之衍生版本三
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版本三:温一刀与牛广济玩了个**游戏
这个版本是前面两个版本的衍生物,因过于时尚,可信度最低
毕竟在当时那个抓革命促生产的年月,这个游戏尚未从腐朽的资本主义国家传进中国,能玩这个游戏的人实属目光远大,凤毛麟角
不过,事实胜于雄辩,从牛广济女儿牛娜差不多与温纯同时出生,且身体构造与温一刀相似度颇高的特征上来分析,这种小概率事件也不是没有发生的可能性
话说还是温一刀拎着十几个猪卵子去村支书办公室去找牛广济
接版本一,牛广济要与温一刀达成互惠互利的协议,温一刀感觉还是吃了亏,二胎准生证仅仅是一张纸而已,而胡月儿可是一个温香软玉的大活人,牛广济存在着严重的霸权主义思想
或许是牛广济也觉得这协议不够平等,抓耳挠腮地提议请妇女主任来和温一刀一起磋商一次村里人猪合一的计划生育工作,温一刀沉思片刻,依旧觉得划不来牛广济恼了,便说:“日,你未必要等价交换,上我的老婆?”
温一刀大手一拍,当即成交
接版本二,温一刀把牛广济和胡月儿堵在了办公室的桌上,按住两人就要喊,牛广济可是党的干部,可不愿意跟着温一刀一起丢这个人,便扯住温一刀与他进行板门店会谈
这下温一刀占了主动,他不让牛广济穿上衣服,牛广济提起裤子不认账的工作作风,温一刀早已了然在胸,胡月儿当然非常配合温一刀,也光着身子参加了谈判工作
三方会谈进展得相当艰难,最后还是牛广济一咬牙:“狗日的,老子认栽了,我和胡月儿再玩一盘,你也去玩一盘我的老婆”
温一刀大手一拍,当即成交
版本三正文:
刚把手拍完,温一刀立即就悔得要扇自己两耳光
为什么呢?
牛广济的老婆是当年牛老叉替牛广济包办的婚姻,是当年公社某副书记家珍养着快要嫁不出去的千金小姐,长得五大三粗母老虎一般,单就那腰就有家里的水桶粗,身上的肉和温一刀见过的母猪差不多,与胡月儿的苗条姣好比起来,简直是一个天上一个地下
可大丈夫一言既出死马难追,温一刀气血上冲,还是跑到了牛广济家里敲开了门没料想,支书老婆见了温一刀,就像七仙女碰上了董永,拦腰抱住就往里屋拖
温一刀想着这会儿牛广济正在胡月儿身上下力气,便毫不客气把眼一闭,提枪上马杀向天生一个仙人洞
别看支书老婆长得不咋地,可有一把子好力气,上下翻飞如肥燕穿梭,虎虎生风,加之温一刀功力深厚,两**战了几百个回合,直战得天昏地暗峰回路转,可谓是酣畅淋漓,等到牛广济办完事回到家门口,还听见屋里喊杀阵阵,硝烟弥漫,气得他怒从心头起,恶向胆边生,捏着拳头冲进了里屋
却见老婆大人横骑在温一刀身上,正上下颠簸,肥硕的**晃得牛广济眼都快了,温一刀眯着个眼在喊,爽啊爽啊真他妈的爽
牛广济上前就要把老婆从温一刀身上往下掀,老婆扭捏着不肯下火线,正处于临界状态的温一刀被这么一折腾,按耐不住突施冷箭,正赶上牛广济二次用力把老婆掀翻了,这一梭子子弹一半击中了支书老婆的靶心,另一半却打中了牛广济的大脸
牛广济抹了一把,呸呸了几声,骂道:“你个狗日的,老子早完工了,你怎么还不收工”
温一刀爬起来,笑道:“广济兄弟,我们说好的是一人一盘,又没有说多长时间,这只能怪你主席的《论持久战》学得不够”
牛广济被温一刀嘲讽,羞恼道:“屁,只能怪你家狐狸精骚劲太足”
争来吵去,这种事情怎么能分得出上下高低,只得作罢
当然,最后的结果都是牛广济让妇女主任给温一刀开了二胎准生证,各位看官可能有疑问,那不是牛广济吃亏了吗?
嘿嘿,怎么可能呢?村支书又不是白当的,按政策温一刀本来就可以生二胎,牛广济不过是借机了却了一个宿愿,把日思夜想的胡月儿睡了
可能有偏执者还要认为,温一刀也睡了支书老婆,至多也只是扯平罢了
非也,话说牛广济长期在别人家的地里做帮扶工作,自家的那块盐碱地都快荒废了,肥婆娘多次吵吵囔囔地要回家告状,现在牛广济抓了她和温一刀的一个现行,总算堵死了她的嘴,再出门耕耘别家的土地,就免去了肥婆娘瞎jb乱啰嗦
那一定要说是温一刀吃了亏也不尽然,与牛广济比起来,至少在时间上和心理上温一刀占据了绝对的上风,女人嘛,蒙上脸还不都一个球样,吃多了精瘦肉偶尔吃一次大肥肉还不是满嘴溢香
这种龌龊的故事,真真假假,源远流长,在桂村的村史里口口相传,多如村支书牛广济身上的鸟毛,温一刀也不可能像城里人那样,拖着温纯去验证dna
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