第559章 良心和笑点在打架

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    【我是女的,刚做完近视眼飞秒手术,第二天眼睛痛的只能睁开一条缝,但还必须坐高铁回家,只能戴着墨镜慢慢行动,结果没看清楚进了男厕所,小便池里的男人震惊的转头看我,我急中生智的开始摸索旁边的墙,结果被好心人搀扶出了男厕所】
    【脚被蚊子叮了一直挠,结果被宿管记下大晚上不睡觉在床上玩脚】
    【我骨折的时候,因为大家都有临时有事,家里没有人给我送饭,于是我朋友托他的朋友给我送饭。
    然后送饭的人不知道我的情况,狂暴的敲了好半天的门。我坐着蹭过去开门的时候,他震惊懊悔卧槽发愁,我头一次在一个人的脸上看到这么多的表情,最后他走的时候把我家的地都给擦干净】
    【上学的那会,智齿拔完之后,大夫给了我一个冰袋,让我镇一镇,我扶着腮帮子就坐公交去了,一上车就有一个大哥给我让座,我心想拔个牙也不至于吧!回家一看,满嘴血,大夫也没有给我拿张纸巾擦擦】
    【刚拔完牙,医生让白天吃点软的,我路上就下去买了香蕉,跟摊主比划着呜噜呜噜的交流,等我买完一转身,店主跟旁边人说,多好的闺女咋是个哑巴……】
    “有一次拉完屎脚麻了,快递疯狂催我下去拿快递(5楼不肯上来),我就一瘸一拐下去了。
    他看到我瘸着下来,态度缓和了许多,说,你早说你这样我给你送上去了嘛。
    转身我要走的时候脚不麻了,但是快递员还没走,我又不好意思说是拉屎拉的[doge]只能假装瘸着离开他的视线[doge][doge]”
    “我有一次在车站就进了男厕所拉屎,还觉得咋这么长时间都没一个人进来,出去发现保洁大姐站在门口替我挡人,后来排了两三个男的在等,原来是大姐目睹我进错了但是没来得及追上去提醒我,谢谢大姐一辈子[笑哭]”
    “拔完牙去给我弟买烤肠,说不了话我就想问可以扫桌子上的码付款么?我就指着二维码用手比划,老板看了看我说:这是一种新型的付款方式[完啦][完啦][完啦][完啦]她以为我是傻子”
    “我之前是要补牙,但是需要拍个牙齿的片子,拍片子是要手指按在里面牙齿的位置,主要是我胃浅,就一边按一边流眼泪,不是一滴一滴,是哗哗的流,到我从拍片室出来的时候,本来大部分都排这个室的,看到我后就都换另一个”
    “小时候很喜欢玩那种拼接玩具,有次去外公家就拼了个拐杖出去耍。等电梯突然开始流鼻涕,手头没有纸,姐姐说把头仰着点,马上到家就能擤鼻涕。电梯出来个大爷,就看着一个小孩仰着头,拿个拐杖探路。大爷:盲人!!给盲人小朋友让路”
    “智齿,刚拔完回小区,冬天很冷穿的很厚,麻药劲没下去,血水滴答滴答在白色羽绒服上,因为已经有点痛感了,身体不自觉微微前倾,有点佝偻。
    到小区门口门卫大哥吓得脸都变色了甚至有点不敢靠近我,嘴里有棉花球,我也没法说话,脸煞白。他就这么看着我,眼泪都快出来了”
    “同样飞秒手术,做完才发现医生说看不见那是一点睁不开眼睛。打了辆车坐在后座拿着纸巾擦眼泪,司机一直通过后视镜看完,感觉脑补了八百个分手故事”
    天幕下的老祖宗们:对不起,听上去真的好倒霉,我们真的没有想笑的,但是,噗哈哈哈哈,实在忍不住。
    老天爷大人有大量,应该不会看着我们笑话了后世们就扣我们功德吧!
    话说这些后世们一个个也是真是的,明明自己受了伤倒了霉也就罢了,还偏偏天有不测风云,被别人给看见了误会了什么,这可真的是屋漏偏逢连夜雨,惨哉惨哉。
    天幕下与后世同款的倒霉蛋:前些日子去买烤鸭被人偷了钱袋子。
    虽然你们没有几两银子,但都是自己的血汗钱了,哭的那叫一个泪流满面。
    结果边哭边在路上被路过的上级看到了,以为自己是刚发的俸禄被贼人给偷走了,人家还在一边苦口婆心地开导自己,安慰自己老半天给我尴尬的呀,恨不得的脚趾抠出三宅一户。
    回到家后更是不得了,偷摸在家里藏着私房钱被媳妇发现了,给自己痛骂了一大顿,就连原本晚饭应有的鸡蛋也被媳妇夹走一个给儿女补身体。
    呜呜呜!这下可真的是赔了夫人又折兵,烤鸭没有也就算了,丢脸的事情被上级看到了也就算了,可万万没想到,就连自己的私房钱也难逃一劫。
    人,怎么能倒霉成这个鬼样子?!!!
    幸好今天看到了天幕上面的视频,看到了后世人的种种不亚于我的惨态,人一旦有了对比,就不再那么的痛苦。
    我还以为只有我一个人会这么的尴尬,现在看了后世人的种种惨状,才知道我这些根本就算不了什么,大巫见小巫罢了。
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