第096章 吏部尚书的崩溃:这官没法当了!
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第096章吏部尚书的崩溃:这官没法当了!(第1/2页)
俗话说得好,快乐这东西向来是守恒的。
当昨夜全天下的商贾都在为那条即将诞生的“神路”狂欢,当林休心满意足地吃着红烧肉补觉时,京城另一头的六部衙门——尤其是吏部,却度过了一个惨绝人寰的不眠之夜。
所以,太和殿的早朝,今儿个气氛有点诡异。
往常这时候,要么是户部哭穷,要么是兵部要粮,再不就是御史台那帮闲得蛋疼的家伙弹劾谁谁谁轿子上的流苏多了一根。
但今天,这金銮殿上,只回荡着一个男人的哭声。
哭得那叫一个惨绝人寰,闻者伤心,听者流泪,不知道的还以为大圣朝亡国了呢。
“陛下啊!微臣……微臣真的撑不住了哇!”
大殿中央,吏部尚书崔正趴在地上,一把鼻涕一把泪。他身上那件原本应该挺括的绯色官服,这会儿皱皱巴巴的,袖口甚至还有一块明显的墨渍,一看就是好几天没换洗了。
最显眼的还是他那两个大黑眼圈,跟被谁揍了两拳似的,配上那花白的胡子和凌乱的头发,活脱脱一个刚从难民营里逃出来的老头。
林休坐在龙椅上,手里那串佛珠都快被他盘出火星子了。他歪着脑袋,看着下面哭得快要背过气去的崔正,只觉得脑瓜子嗡嗡的。
“老崔啊,差不多得了。”
林休叹了口气,揉了揉太阳穴,“你这大清早的给朕来这一出孟姜女哭长城,不知道的还以为朕怎么虐待你了。朕不就是让你多选点人吗?至于吗?”
“陛下!您那是多选点人吗?您那是要把微臣生吞活剥了啊!”
崔正一听这话,哭得更凶了。他猛地抬起头,那双布满血丝的眼睛里全是绝望。
“您自己算算!这段时间,吏部都经历了什么!”
崔正伸出那双哆哆嗦嗦的手,开始掰指头算账,声音都在发颤:
“那个杀千刀的‘扫黑巡视组’,下手太狠了啊!这一锄头下去,拔出萝卜带出泥,各地的知府、县令,还有那些充当保护伞的通判、主簿,被抓进去了一大半!大牢都快塞不下了,可衙门空了啊!”
“还有北边!顾青那个疯子要搞什么水源地屯田,一口气调走了三百多个精通农事的官员!兵部那边也是,秦大将军修路修上瘾了,只要是个能跑能跳的武官,都被他拉去当监工了!”
“更别提礼部了!为了搞那个什么‘九年义务教育’,全国各地都在疯了一样建学堂!孙尚书那个老狐狸,把能识文断字的秀才全都抓去当了教书先生,甚至连那些还没考上功名的童生都不放过!现在各地县衙里,想找个能写布告的师爷都得排队!”
“还有皇贵妃娘娘的那个‘皇家银行’!为了把分号开遍全国,户部这几天简直疯了,把各地算盘打得好的账房先生搜刮一空,连当铺的掌眼都被挖走了!”
说到这,崔正狠狠地锤了一下金砖,痛心疾首:“最过分的是工部!宋尚书那个老……老不知羞的,仗着有陛下撑腰,把‘皇家建筑局’搞得跟抢人局似的!只要是会算账的、懂营造的,全被他高薪挖走了!连吏部那个看大门的老王,因为会算两笔账,都被挖去当了工头!”
“陛下啊!现在的吏部,那是真的连个能干活的人都抓不出来了!前些年积压的那些候补进士,只要是懂点实务的,全被抢光了!剩下那些只会死读书的,微臣硬着头皮塞下去,结果没两天就被地方上给退回来了!现在吏部大堂里,除了被退回来的废物,就是来要人的债主!六部衙门里,现在经常是尚书亲自磨墨,侍郎亲自跑腿,这日子……这日子没法过了啊!”
崔正仰天长啸,那叫一个悲愤欲绝:“陛下,您要是再不发人,微臣只能把自己劈成两半用了!一半坐堂审案,一半去大街上拉壮丁!”
大殿内一片死寂。
文武百官们一个个低着头,谁也不敢吱声。
这事儿吧,虽然崔正哭得惨,但大家心里都清楚,这锅还真就是陛下甩出去的。
扫黑是陛下点的头,屯田是陛下批的条,修路是陛下给的钱,就连那个抢人的建筑局,那也是陛下亲自挂牌成立的。
合着把大圣朝的人才库掏空的罪魁祸首,就坐在那龙椅上呢。
林休被崔正这一通控诉搞得也有点不好意思。他摸了摸鼻子,心说朕也没想到这帮人这么能折腾啊。朕不就是想搞点钱、修点路、顺便给那帮不听话的豪绅一点教训吗?怎么就把官场给搞断层了呢?
但作为皇帝,那是绝对不能认错的。
“咳咳。”
林休清了清嗓子,试图用威严掩盖尴尬,“那个……老崔啊,困难是暂时的嘛。朕知道你苦,但朕也没办法啊。这人才又不是韭菜,割了一茬还能立马长出来。”
“那您说怎么办?!”崔正也是豁出去了,梗着
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