第40章 你是齐天大圣吗,寿命说改就改

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    “呵呵,前面的你是不是主播的托儿啊,怎么每次主播胡乱编一个故事就有人跳出来证明确有其事?咱们是来听故事的,能不能别整这些烂活儿。”
    “你们不知道吧,我可是一直关注这个主播的,她以前讲的故事都很烂,根本没有几个人听,后来在暹罗国犯了法,到牢里进修过了,估计是学了些营销、诈骗的烂人手段。”
    “怎么这个主播还在跳?到底是什么人在看她的直播?也太不挑了吧?”
    “我看你们是真饿了。”
    万穗没有搭理这些黑子,挥了挥手,道:“观众朋友们,大家晚上好,我是五百岁,今天我们要讲的故事是……”
    一条请求连线的信息发了过来,网名叫君宝。
    这不就是那个哭诉捡到借命红包的女网友吗?
    真是踏破铁鞋无觅处,得来全不费工夫。
    万穗觉得自己真是时来运转了,想什么来什么。
    她欣喜地接通了连线,君宝似乎很惊讶:“五百岁,你竟然愿意跟我连线,实在是太好了。”
    她的神情又从惊喜变成了哀求:“五百岁,求求你救救我,我听他们说,你神通广大,能掐会算,也能驱邪镇魔,我的事情你一定能帮我解决。”
    万穗嘴角抽搐了两下:“谁说的啊,我哪有那么厉害?”
    “网友们说的啊。”君宝道,“我的视频下面,有很多人艾特你,说颤音上没有比你更厉害的玄术师了。”
    万穗心虚地擦了擦额头上的汗,道:“那是网友们捧场而已,你千万别信,我不是什么玄术师,只是知道一些玄学小知识罢了。”
    君宝的眼睛闪着亮光,道:“他们都说你很谦虚,我还不信,今天我信了。像你这样的才是高人,那种一上来就说自己多厉害多厉害的,大都是骗子。”
    万穗很认真地想,要不下次我就吹嘘自己一下?
    不行,要是有人当真了怎么办?
    “这就是商业互吹吗?”评论区有人阴阳怪气。
    “我就说这是剧本嘛,你们不信,她们肯定是事先对好台本的,说不定根本就没有捡借命红包这种事。”
    君宝没有心情去管这些评论,焦急地拿出了那个红包,道:“五百岁,我现在应该怎么做,才能把借出去的命要回来?”
    “不用要回来。”万穗大手一挥,很豪气地道。
    “啊?”君宝愣住。
    评论区又有阴阳怪气:“主播真是大方,借出去两年的命竟然还说不用要回来,要不你把自己的寿命借给君宝好了。”
    “这就是传说中的慷他人之慨吗?”
    “你就算让人家把红包扔寺庙功德箱里也好啊,虽然没什么用。”
    君宝一脸惊疑地问:“五百岁,这,这是什么意思?”
    “借命哪是这么简单的事?”万穗淡然地说,“诸葛亮大家都知道吧?那是多厉害的人物,五行八卦阴阳术数,无所不知,无所不晓,他连东风都能借来,老年时摆阵法七星灯借命,还不是借不到?要是一个红包包几百块就能借命的话,丞相早就向天再借五百岁了。”
    “哈哈哈哈,主播这个梗玩得好。”
    “说得好有道理啊,我怎么没想到呢?”
    “还有秦始皇,他遍寻奇人异士,出海寻找仙山,就是为了长生不老,要是这么简单就能借命,他早就千秋万代了。”
    君宝愣了好一会儿才反应过来,道:“可,可是,诸葛亮是向天借命啊,又不是向人借命,说不定向天借命不好借,向人借命好借呢。”
    “说得也有道理。”有网友道,“何况人类的寿命是有尽头的,就算借命也有限制,不能突破人类的最高寿数,帝王将相们自然也不能长生不老了。”
    君宝也越看越害怕,道:“五百岁,我,我还是想把我被借的命要回来。”
    万穗心想,你们怎么这么迷信呢?
    世上哪里会有借命这种事,就算从玄学的角度出发,一个人的寿命早就在阴天子的生死簿上写清楚了,到了时间,阴差就要根据生死簿来抓人的,你又不是齐天大圣,哪里能说改就改?
    罢了,既然这些网友这么迷信,我还是放个大招,用魔法打败魔法吧。
    “既然你这么要求,那我教你一个技巧。”她说,“不仅仅能够要回你的寿命,还能让对方吃个大亏。”
    君宝的眼睛再次亮起,这次像有两颗星星。
    “还请不吝赐教。”
    网友们也来了兴趣,纷纷催她讲。
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